Well, today was interesting! I got a chance, thanks to James (Multicoloured Arrow), to score a fairly rare CP Racing strut brace (to be fair, most strut braces seem pretty rare) so it was too good a chance to pass up. Big thanks to him for offering it to me, nice one dude. For those who dunno, one of them looks like this, as modelled by Dave's excellent TWiR;
Trouble was, James is in sarf lunnon, I'm in Sahsix, it's a silly bloody thing to courier and I can't collect it cos I'm stuck working like a dog driving cattle cars around Her Majesty's railways. Mostly through south London today as it happe...
hang on, I might have a plan here...
So James, solid fella that he is, agreed to plod up the road with it to Tulse Hill station, I gave him the times I'd be calling there and hey presto, the world's most expensive (and longest) delivery truck. Or a Class 319 electric multiple unit, as they're otherwise known. Thanks again to James for complying with what must have seemed a totally preposterous request! The downside was, I was now stuck with something almost the size of an RX-7 engine bay, made from tubular steel, and I still had about seven hours of my shift to go. Well, I figured, why not make it into a positive, as I sat staring at the cumbersome, unwieldy thing cluttering up my cab...
I daren't leave it in the messroom, even though I'd be on and off trains changing drivers at Blackfriars all afternoon. This is a depot where people have stolen the TV remote control, the
batteries out of the TV remote, chairs, stationery, bog rolls (unused at least) and even the bloody shower plumbing! Some lightfingered scunner would have it away and weigh it in before I'd gone two stops down the line. So I had no choice but to cart it around with me, on and off trains... up and down escalators... outside for fag breaks... even at lunch.
I became quite fond of my constant companion, once I'd got the hang of carrying her over one shoulder so I didn't keep banging my shins of her, and you didn't notice the weight so much. In fact, I'd go so far as to say we bonded quite well. She's great company, curves in all the right places, doesn't speak out of turn, always happy with wherever you take her. I ended up with a little picture essay of our day out together...
....for example, here we are sharing a cigarette break by the Water Bearer statue with a lovely view over to the South Bank, the OXO tower and Waterloo with the Eye;
Here Trace the Brace is admiring the wonderful Imperial architecture of the Unilever Building on New Bridge Street, and the "Controlled Energy" statue of the restrained horses
Waiting for a train to relieve, this is the view down east with the Tate Modern bankside tower and the Shard behind, tallest inhabited building in Europe
here we are sharing lunch, wiltshire jambon et le gruyere avec tortilla, a sort of multinational
croque monsieur. Only cold
Coming back from round the Sutton loop (again, no-one should have to visit Loughborough Junction four times in one day), the Dark Tower of Sauron's
Barad Dur at Elephant and Castle
Another ciggie break, this time with wonderful views from the Mermaid Walk over to St Paul's Big Church
Finally waiting to drive one home to Brighton, view downriver to Tower Bridge and the glittering ivory towers of the elite classes out on the Isle of Dogs
And, at long last, home to a nice warm safe garage after a big exciting day out. Gahh! Wrong stud pattern!
Reckon I may be able to start one of those internet crazes, y'know, like planking or when people go and dance like tits in front of famous landmarks or something. I think I might need to use something a bit more portable and less cumbrous in future, though.
Coming soon, seeing if it actually fits the car...